![]() Include stuff from the Sourcebook - their fleshed-out personalities, their backstories - and portray it in the game that flows and feels natural. There's a certain lack of investment for a big chunk of them, and when they try to do so, it comes off as awkward. Otherwise, there are a lot of areas for improvement, the most glaring one being the characters and their writing. Daemon x machina art serial#The "Star Reclaimer" serial appears (to my interpretation, at least) the actual story they wanted to tell, but could not portray. The best option to improve the original game's story would have been to give more time for the development team to flesh it out more. The cast of cardboard characters are plagued with messy writing which tells rather than shows, and try too hard to make the player care about each and every one of them - which is, unfortunately, hard to do here.Īnd, for extra credit, provide what you could've done to improve the story and/or its storytelling. The expansive setting that had so much potential is bogged down with a tolerable yet uninteresting story. Be as honest as you want - I'll start as an example: If you'd like to, you can also explain your reasons why you ranked each category that particular rank. An example of this (and my opinion) would be: ![]() ![]() Rank each category as "excellent", "average", or "poor". ![]() This way, I know what to improve to make this story stand out.įor answers, assume that you haven't read any of the supplementary material (such as the Sourcebook or Star Reclaimer). For a fanfiction project I've been working on, actually, it's been in development hell for roughly over a year now, I've been wanting to get an opinion on what the original game's story did right, did okay, or completely fucked over in the categories of setting, plot, characters, and dialogue. ![]()
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